Last night, J and I found ourselves in a discussion about last names. We didn’t have a problem coming up with some awesome and agreeable first names. We’ll both be happy with quite a few different ones. But we’ve struggled with the last name.
When J and I were married, I was fairly adamant that she retain her last name. I felt it was an important symbol of the type of marriage I expected.
But it has caused a bit of an issue about what last name our kids(s) should have.
One of the key points is that all of us – parents and kid(s) – should have the same last name. Which means that at least one person will need to change their last name.
I think for me this means a legal name change, but retaining the use of our current last names publicly. When we go to the airport with our passports, they all have the same last name, but we’d still get mail and such in our original last names. I suppose this might be confusing, but I see it as kinda like having an alias. Or being an actor with a stage name. Which is kinda fun.
I don’t think J is sold on that idea.
But the main point is what would that new last name be.
There are five main methods for giving a child its last name:
- Use the father’s last name;
- Use the mother’s last name;
- Use a hyphenated version of the father’s and mother’s last name;
- Sons will get the father’s last name and daughters will get the mother’s last name (or 1st kid gets father’s/mother’s last name, 2nd kid gets the other’s); and,
- A completely new last name will be created (using, or not using, elements of the parents’ last names).
Recently J has said that the fourth idea might have merit.
All along I have been advocating for the last idea: a completely new last name – the problem remains, however, just what would that last name be?
I’d be curious to find out everyone’s opinions on this issue.